my heart

my heart cries out. I do believe that things have never been this hard on me.
my desires are crawling out and i keep pushing them aside or back where they belong. Not wanting to show who I really am.
I am living somewhere and I shouldn't be here. I need to be where God wants me and needs me.
I am standing in tears up to my ankles. where the next day looks scary. I don't want to go. just hide.
why must things be so real? wishing i could just paint the day away.

leave. for you are not welcome